Much Ado About Making Love With Lesbians | Autostraddle

It’s been a huge few days for homosexual-related very first individual narratives in liberal-and-feminist-but-mostly-heterosexual publications!

All of our basic part involves all of us via xojane, the ladies’s site headed up by Jane Pratt (my personal hero)

(i am serious) of

Sassy

and

Jane.

Titled ”
I’m a Lesbian Pillow Princess
,” this piece is part of the “It Happened in my opinion” feature which also existed at JANE magazine and is made up largely of writer/reader-submitted records of subjectively interesting individual encounters.

The unknown author of this part, which I’ll phone “Ariel,” is actually bisexual, but because she readily supplies hit jobs to the woman male associates but doesn’t date or usually go lower on ladies, she’s, she clarifies, officially, only a ”

Lesbian

Pillow Princess.” (She additionally refers to herself as “mostly straight” and “straight” at some other factors in narrative.) The woman reputation started, she explains, whenever her basic lesbian hookup now — a smokin’ hot dyke known as Kelly at the woman school — took place on her for one hour. She la-la-la-loved it right after which instantly fled the world fearing her own incapacity to execute this type of great cunnilingus upon Kelly for such a prolonged time period.

She produces:

“not surprisingly, phrase had gotten around that she and that I had connected and that I’d kept this lady holding, which had the strange effect of giving me folk-heroine standing. Kelly known as me a “pillow princess,” and henceforth, I found myself one. It actually was like some sort of film conceit in which the champion is mistaken for a hollywood and extends to ride in a limo and remain in a fancy lodge caused by it.”

This evidently completely exercised in her favor, as she romped about in university hooking up with many “aggressive types just who got down in the indisputable fact that I happened to be reluctant to permit a lady touch me personally.” Post-college, she moved on towards internet, where she marketed the lady calm position and frequently came across with women for NSA intercourse.

Close to the conclusion she problematically clarifies that whenever hooking up with a woman she’s not attracted to, she merely closes her eyes and envisions some other person “while [the lesbian] really does the woman thing.” Often it appears like she desires women for eating the woman out simply because they truly are allegedly better at it than guys are. She

could

decrease on it but “I am not online dating them, and I do not think i might wish to have my fetish corrupted by caring for somebody enough to surrender.”

I mightnot need to sit down alongside Ariel on an airplane, but her one-sided sexual encounters are consensual and she actually is only telling a true story of her existence, and so I’m in no way positive what you should model of this (and I also’m interested to understand what you will be making of it, if anything).

Then, on Jezebel (via
The Great Men Venture
) we’ve got
I Married a Lesbian (and I also’m a Guy)
. Mcdougal, Hugo Schwyzer, “tended getting crushes on the same sorts of girl: the star baseball player, the football onward, the swimmer. Some were lesbians. Some weren’t.” He questioned:

What exactly is it that drew me many times to women who happened to be same-sex attracted? It certainly wasn’t the stereotypical male fantasy regarding what they certainly were undertaking during sex, therefore definitely had nothing in connection with a macho perception that i possibly could change a gay woman straight.

In parts, the portion (which really does tred on some stereotypical soil) reminded me personally of this offer from

Girls Across The Street

,
which I quoted in an article about female masculinity
:

“…if we had in order to make an added generalization about lesbian style, it might be that many you are incredibly keen on females, homosexual or straight, stunning or perhaps not, exactly who seem like they are able to handle themselves.”

The writer ultimately marries a lesbian which provided as directly, and he discovered their unique ensuing sex-life are unsatisfactory. She refused to offer him hit tasks and failed to love penetration but cheerfully approved their offerings of cunnilingus. When their unique sexless matrimony finished in divorce proceedings and a drug relapse (for him), he’s apparently caring to his ex-wife’s fight as opposed to labeling her as deceitful (as much for the commenters would):

She had come from a traditional family members that would happen deeply embarrassed to possess a gay youngster. She may always have known, but did the lady far better conceal it, maybe wishing that her emotions might alter. Or she might-have-been like lots of ladies I identified, and simply found the woman correct intimate identity after already getting married to one.

What is redeeming concerning this article for me that the author’s conception of their own sex is usually without the standard male posturing one might expect in a piece such as this (the guy actually identifies himself as “femmy”). Maybe it simply appears that method because guys thus rarely discuss wanting strong, sports, strong females with short hair; but it is refreshing none the less.

I don’t fault Hugo or Ariel for advising their stories, but it’s worth discussing that both narratives frequently drive throughout the concept that bed room conduct may be the ultimate/only litmus examination of sexuality. Hugo and Courtney enjoy both’s business, but Hugo cites Courtney’s disinterest in penetration as a “warning indication” the guy skipped, whenever entrance is scarcely a solely heterosexual act (it appears more inclined Courtney feared the closeness of penetration with a person she failed to truly want are with, yet , that knows) and falling in love, eventually, is focused on your snatch but it is also concerning your cardiovascular system and it is mostly about having intimate feelings. Those intimate emotions are just what turns a hook-up commitment into a relationship, after all.

At long last at

neurological.com

we have a sweet tale directly through the horse’s throat —
My Very First Time: Female. 17. Bay Area
. In my opinion this is actually the first-time the “First Time” series features included a lesbian.

Generally, in ninth quality, mcdougal confessed to the woman closest friend that she had lesbian feelings for her, along with her companion reciprocated, plus they proceeded to carry on a covert lesbian union and are nevertheless together today and this woman is a grown-up during the armed forces!

This indicates they will have however to get their connection from the dresser, which will be a bit puzzling, but whatever

. [

ETA

: Looks like this story had been created before DADT had been repealed, though it just adopted released, therefore you’ll find nothing puzzling going on here. This is simply straight-up sweet in almost every way, unequivocally.]

The focus on the portion (that’s extremely cute and sweet) is on the writer’s knowledge of
what lesbian sex is quite
:

We had never ever been down on each other, and I was convinced that’s what we’d meant as soon as we stated we planned to have sex. (today I recognize that there is a lot more to fucking than slurping a girl’s snatch and phoning it just about every day.)

She concludes:

I’m sure that many individuals disagree in what virginity methods to a homosexual woman, but virginity is wholly personal, and it really depends on whom you’re inquiring. People might state entrance must be involved, but i do believe it really is around anyone dropping their virginity. Easily feel just like I’ve lost my personal virginity, after that goddammit, We have!

I’ve spent most of the early morning and mid-day watching wordpress, trying to figure out exactly what point I could generate about any of these pieces. I imagined a great deal about why we’d never ever publish “I found myself a Lesbian Pillow Princess” about internet site but are unable to work through the explanation that I’d fear 50 of you would vow not to get back right here plus the remaning many-thousands of you would fight together about bisexual erasure/lesbian erasure through to the heat death of the world. I envisioned somebody publishing “I found myself a Lesbian Pillow Princess” to us via e-mail and then We imagined the article conference in which we might will that story and all of state “NO” likewise.

In looking for a time to gleam because of these stories, I tried to determine what you’d believe or state, and that I are unable to, and I also wish complete this post asap to increase the procedure of me learning what you think about these tales. Yup, for the first time ever since starting Autostraddle, i have had gotten no idea what to say about a thing. So possibly i ought to simply ask you — what is actually the response to these parts?